Sunday, June 24, 2012

Kurt Russell

This week on The LXB our topic was Kurt Russell.  This was a very ambiguous topic.  We could post anything about the legendary actor we wanted, top 10 lists, his greatest action figures, or simply how much cooler eye patches are when he wears them. 

I decided for this wonderful Kurt Russell week why not talk about his best role of all time.  That's right I'm talking about his brief cameo in 3 part South Park epic Imaginationland.  

In this saga Kurt pretty much reprises his role as Col Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil from the 1994 sci-fi classic Stargate.  The US government called in Mr. Russell because of his expertise with star gates and other inter dimensional portals.  Although he was just an actor portraying a tough as nails soldier and not a real life bad ass, he accepts the mission and leads a squad of eager young commandos.  Sadly not even 10 minutes into the bizarre world of imaginationland he was confronted by the cute and cuddly albeit a little sadistic and also satanic Woodland Critters.  Upon meeting the jovial woodland animals he was immediately raped, and then murdered.  This was a very sad day for Hollywood and movie goers alike.  Thanks to the demented mind of one little fourth grader from South Park Colorado we will never get to see a Captain Ron 2 or another Snake Plissken movie.   Kurt Russell you will be missed.

Damn you Woodland Critters!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Unparalleled Movie Scenes

This is a new segment where I post some of the greatest most unparalleled movie scenes of all time.

Let's start shall we.  This first unparalleled scene features the greatest head explosion in movie history.  It also stars cult actor Michael Ironsides.  So sit back relax and enjoy the head explosion scene from the wonderfully campy movie Scanners.

The story of the Usagi Doll

Recently I attended the Stumptown Comicfest in Portland OR.  There I had the privilege to meet my favorite author/artist of all time STAN SAKAI.  I'm not really big on getting autographs or meeting celebrities, but I wasn't gunna miss a chance to meet the nicest guys in comics these days.

In case you guys don't know who Stan Sakai is, he is the writer/artist of the greatest comic in the known world  Usagi Yojimbo.  Usagi Yjimbo is the tale of a lone wandering samurai name Miyamoto Usagi  who ventures through feudal Japan.  Did I mention he's a rabbit?  Yea that's a right, a Rabbit.  I'm such a sucker for anthropomorphic animals.  Usagi Yojimbo has supplied me with hours upon hours of enjoyment and happiness, so when i had the chance to meet the writer of this masterpiece I was first in line.  Literally, I was the first fan there on opening day to greet him.  Being the fanboy that I am,  of course I had to out do all the other geeks there by giving him a present for creating my favorite hero.  The gift came from the creative mind of my girlfriend Makayla.  She is a master at the art of Nerdigurumi.  We came up with the idea of crocheting him a little Usagi doll, and boy did he love it!  We watched him play with it even after we recieved our autographs and moved on.  I was so proud to have given him so much joy after the endless amount of joy he has given me.  I really hope he placed it on his mantel or on his drawing table, but more than likely he threw it in a box somewhere never to be seen again, but I can hope.

Behold the greatest Usagi Doll in all the land. 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

One fun week

             This weeks assignment of the LXB wasn't too hard.  The question was, what reality TV treasure hunting show would I like to be part of for a week?

 hmmm.... lets see, Mike and Frank from American Pickers would be fun to hang out with for maybe a couple hours before I'd get sick and tired of Mike trying to act cooler than he really is.  Mike you're not fooling anybody with your facade, you might of fooled of if you didn't have an orgasm every time you see the left handle bar of a rusted up Schwinn bike.

Storage Wars would be fun with all of Barry's shenanigans, but I would just get sick of snake oil salesman Dave always causing strife.  I'd join in with Daryl in an all out Dave beat down.

Comic Book Men would be neat I guess before I pants Bryan Johnson and show the world his tiny penis so he'll finally shut the fuck up.  It would be cool to hang out with Mike though he seems pretty cool.

I'd get fired and possibly thrown in jail if I were on Hollywood Treasures.  The first piece of Sam Winston memorabilia I saw, I'd create an elaborate diversion and escape with my new Hollywood treasure.

Pawn Stars would be the most annoying show to work for.  Listening to Rick talk down to his fans/customers all day would drain my life away.  I wouldn't be able to tell if the old man was alive and sitting ever so quietly with his eyes permanently closed or dead from cholesterol poisoning.  Chum Lee seems cool though, but Corey would ruin that fun by acting all smug like he does.

Well I think the answer is painfully obvious.  I'd work for Pawn Stars duh!  Only I wouldn't work with the main four douche bags, I'd work with Johnny Jimenez the shops toy expert!  Imagine all the awesome conversations we would have.  What version of Snake Eyes is your favorite, why did they have to cancel Beast Wars?  And many many more.  He'd show me his personal collection and we would dive into all his loose figures like Scrooge into his money bin just laughing and becoming best friends.

So there you have it folks I'd hang out with Johnny Jimenez at his awesome toy store the Las Vegas Toy Shack for a week.  Hopefully us two chums would get picked up for our own show and rule the airwaves BWAHAHAHA.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Top 10 Favorite Films

My gosh it's been forever since I've made a post for The League of Extraordinary Bloggers, but now i'm back with a vengeance.

Now this weeks topic is your top 10 favorite films, so here's my list, enjoy.

       #10 G.I. Joe the Animated Movie

The greatest animated movie of all time!  This film cemented Beachhead  as my favorite Joe of all time.

#9 Straw Dogs

Dustin Hoffman's greatest performance.  100 times better than the shitty remake.

#8 The Big Lebowski

Quite frankly one of the funniest movies ever created.

#7 The Warriors

This movie has one of the best fight scenes of all time.  When the Warriors fight the Punks in the bathroom is groundbreaking.

#6 The Road Warrior

Mel Gibson's best movie in his best role.

#5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

#4 Aliens

The greatest military sci-fi action film of all time.

#3 The Good The Bad And The Ugly

The epitome of a western.

#2 Bloodsport

What's not to love about Jean Claude kickin the shit out of his opponents.  This film also has the best supporting character of all time RAY JACKSON!

#1 Robocop

Hands down the greatest film of all time.  I can watch this sci-fi epic everyday  of the year and never get tired of the over the top action and brilliant effects.
Well there you have it my top 10 favorite films of all time.  I hope you all enjoyed my comback into the Leauge.

Ghostrider in the sky!

Finally, I can say i have acquired one of my many holy grails.  Thanks to my first ever Joe Craigslist score I am now the proud owner of  the G.I. Joe Phantom X-19 Stealth Fighter.   The greatest of all the Joe aircraft.  It is 100% complete and in C9 condition.  Ghostrider just sweetened the deal, great figure sculpt.  Unfortunately he didn't have his red scarf, but it can easily be reproduced.  So behold the power of the Phantom.

Here we have ole' whatshisname sitting upon his beloved Phantom.
Nice view of the stealth  fighter from the front.
Look out Wild Weasel, Ghostrider's coming for ya.