Sunday, June 24, 2012

Kurt Russell

This week on The LXB our topic was Kurt Russell.  This was a very ambiguous topic.  We could post anything about the legendary actor we wanted, top 10 lists, his greatest action figures, or simply how much cooler eye patches are when he wears them. 

I decided for this wonderful Kurt Russell week why not talk about his best role of all time.  That's right I'm talking about his brief cameo in 3 part South Park epic Imaginationland.  

In this saga Kurt pretty much reprises his role as Col Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil from the 1994 sci-fi classic Stargate.  The US government called in Mr. Russell because of his expertise with star gates and other inter dimensional portals.  Although he was just an actor portraying a tough as nails soldier and not a real life bad ass, he accepts the mission and leads a squad of eager young commandos.  Sadly not even 10 minutes into the bizarre world of imaginationland he was confronted by the cute and cuddly albeit a little sadistic and also satanic Woodland Critters.  Upon meeting the jovial woodland animals he was immediately raped, and then murdered.  This was a very sad day for Hollywood and movie goers alike.  Thanks to the demented mind of one little fourth grader from South Park Colorado we will never get to see a Captain Ron 2 or another Snake Plissken movie.   Kurt Russell you will be missed.

Damn you Woodland Critters!

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