Tuesday, July 10, 2012

The most tear jerky scene ever

This weeks assignment for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers is Who cried when Old Yeller got shot? What movie, TV show, book, etc. turns you into a blubbering baby every time you see it?

To tell you the truth I'm not a big crier.  I can watch Old Yeller get shot over and over and not shed one tear.  Sure I'll get sad but absolutely no waterworks.  I can watch Gilbert Grapes mother get cremated by her burning house with eyes dryer than snuggles the bear himself. but there is one scene that gets me every single time.  The scene I am speaking of is from the greatest jousting movie of all time, A Knights Tale.  During the end of the Film when William Thatcher (Heath Ledger) travels to England, to compete in a jousting tournament against his arch rival Count Adhemar, he finds his way back to where he grew up.  There he tracks down his father who is now a blind.

That reunion is the happiest/saddest scene ever, and I tear up every single damn time I watch it.     
Maybe since I was raised by a single father this scene gets to me so much.  Just makes me realize how much I love my dad and what a good relationship we have.

Here it is the most tear jerky scene ever!  Make sure to have some tissues handy.
(the video isn't the best)

About time book review

Night Of The CrabsNight Of The Crabs by Guy N. Smith
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The title says it all, this book is about killer crabs, and no not that kind of crabs. Unlike other killer crab books these crabs are the size of cows. Night of the Crabs starts out just like the more well known and loved Jaws. While night swimming a couple of oversexed young adults get torn to shreds by the villainous crustaceans. That's pretty much where the similarities stop. The crabs are not only large but they are extremely intelligent. I know, I know this seems like the coolest B-movie monster fest book ever, but alas it is not. Sure it had awesome claw killings and dismemberment but not enough for a book about giant killer crabs. The ending seemed rushed and was filled with deus ex machinas. I dunno, I guess my expectations were too high. I had hoped for an unrated crab gorefest but instead got a soft R.

View all my reviews

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Kurt Russell

This week on The LXB our topic was Kurt Russell.  This was a very ambiguous topic.  We could post anything about the legendary actor we wanted, top 10 lists, his greatest action figures, or simply how much cooler eye patches are when he wears them. 

I decided for this wonderful Kurt Russell week why not talk about his best role of all time.  That's right I'm talking about his brief cameo in 3 part South Park epic Imaginationland.  

In this saga Kurt pretty much reprises his role as Col Jonathan "Jack" O'Neil from the 1994 sci-fi classic Stargate.  The US government called in Mr. Russell because of his expertise with star gates and other inter dimensional portals.  Although he was just an actor portraying a tough as nails soldier and not a real life bad ass, he accepts the mission and leads a squad of eager young commandos.  Sadly not even 10 minutes into the bizarre world of imaginationland he was confronted by the cute and cuddly albeit a little sadistic and also satanic Woodland Critters.  Upon meeting the jovial woodland animals he was immediately raped, and then murdered.  This was a very sad day for Hollywood and movie goers alike.  Thanks to the demented mind of one little fourth grader from South Park Colorado we will never get to see a Captain Ron 2 or another Snake Plissken movie.   Kurt Russell you will be missed.

Damn you Woodland Critters!

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Unparalleled Movie Scenes

This is a new segment where I post some of the greatest most unparalleled movie scenes of all time.

Let's start shall we.  This first unparalleled scene features the greatest head explosion in movie history.  It also stars cult actor Michael Ironsides.  So sit back relax and enjoy the head explosion scene from the wonderfully campy movie Scanners.

The story of the Usagi Doll

Recently I attended the Stumptown Comicfest in Portland OR.  There I had the privilege to meet my favorite author/artist of all time STAN SAKAI.  I'm not really big on getting autographs or meeting celebrities, but I wasn't gunna miss a chance to meet the nicest guys in comics these days.

In case you guys don't know who Stan Sakai is, he is the writer/artist of the greatest comic in the known world  Usagi Yojimbo.  Usagi Yjimbo is the tale of a lone wandering samurai name Miyamoto Usagi  who ventures through feudal Japan.  Did I mention he's a rabbit?  Yea that's a right, a Rabbit.  I'm such a sucker for anthropomorphic animals.  Usagi Yojimbo has supplied me with hours upon hours of enjoyment and happiness, so when i had the chance to meet the writer of this masterpiece I was first in line.  Literally, I was the first fan there on opening day to greet him.  Being the fanboy that I am,  of course I had to out do all the other geeks there by giving him a present for creating my favorite hero.  The gift came from the creative mind of my girlfriend Makayla.  She is a master at the art of Nerdigurumi.  We came up with the idea of crocheting him a little Usagi doll, and boy did he love it!  We watched him play with it even after we recieved our autographs and moved on.  I was so proud to have given him so much joy after the endless amount of joy he has given me.  I really hope he placed it on his mantel or on his drawing table, but more than likely he threw it in a box somewhere never to be seen again, but I can hope.

Behold the greatest Usagi Doll in all the land. 

Saturday, June 16, 2012

One fun week

             This weeks assignment of the LXB wasn't too hard.  The question was, what reality TV treasure hunting show would I like to be part of for a week?

 hmmm.... lets see, Mike and Frank from American Pickers would be fun to hang out with for maybe a couple hours before I'd get sick and tired of Mike trying to act cooler than he really is.  Mike you're not fooling anybody with your facade, you might of fooled of if you didn't have an orgasm every time you see the left handle bar of a rusted up Schwinn bike.

Storage Wars would be fun with all of Barry's shenanigans, but I would just get sick of snake oil salesman Dave always causing strife.  I'd join in with Daryl in an all out Dave beat down.

Comic Book Men would be neat I guess before I pants Bryan Johnson and show the world his tiny penis so he'll finally shut the fuck up.  It would be cool to hang out with Mike though he seems pretty cool.

I'd get fired and possibly thrown in jail if I were on Hollywood Treasures.  The first piece of Sam Winston memorabilia I saw, I'd create an elaborate diversion and escape with my new Hollywood treasure.

Pawn Stars would be the most annoying show to work for.  Listening to Rick talk down to his fans/customers all day would drain my life away.  I wouldn't be able to tell if the old man was alive and sitting ever so quietly with his eyes permanently closed or dead from cholesterol poisoning.  Chum Lee seems cool though, but Corey would ruin that fun by acting all smug like he does.

Well I think the answer is painfully obvious.  I'd work for Pawn Stars duh!  Only I wouldn't work with the main four douche bags, I'd work with Johnny Jimenez the shops toy expert!  Imagine all the awesome conversations we would have.  What version of Snake Eyes is your favorite, why did they have to cancel Beast Wars?  And many many more.  He'd show me his personal collection and we would dive into all his loose figures like Scrooge into his money bin just laughing and becoming best friends.

So there you have it folks I'd hang out with Johnny Jimenez at his awesome toy store the Las Vegas Toy Shack for a week.  Hopefully us two chums would get picked up for our own show and rule the airwaves BWAHAHAHA.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Top 10 Favorite Films

My gosh it's been forever since I've made a post for The League of Extraordinary Bloggers, but now i'm back with a vengeance.

Now this weeks topic is your top 10 favorite films, so here's my list, enjoy.

       #10 G.I. Joe the Animated Movie

The greatest animated movie of all time!  This film cemented Beachhead  as my favorite Joe of all time.

#9 Straw Dogs

Dustin Hoffman's greatest performance.  100 times better than the shitty remake.

#8 The Big Lebowski

Quite frankly one of the funniest movies ever created.

#7 The Warriors

This movie has one of the best fight scenes of all time.  When the Warriors fight the Punks in the bathroom is groundbreaking.

#6 The Road Warrior

Mel Gibson's best movie in his best role.

#5 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

#4 Aliens

The greatest military sci-fi action film of all time.

#3 The Good The Bad And The Ugly

The epitome of a western.

#2 Bloodsport

What's not to love about Jean Claude kickin the shit out of his opponents.  This film also has the best supporting character of all time RAY JACKSON!

#1 Robocop

Hands down the greatest film of all time.  I can watch this sci-fi epic everyday  of the year and never get tired of the over the top action and brilliant effects.
Well there you have it my top 10 favorite films of all time.  I hope you all enjoyed my comback into the Leauge.

Ghostrider in the sky!

Finally, I can say i have acquired one of my many holy grails.  Thanks to my first ever Joe Craigslist score I am now the proud owner of  the G.I. Joe Phantom X-19 Stealth Fighter.   The greatest of all the Joe aircraft.  It is 100% complete and in C9 condition.  Ghostrider just sweetened the deal, great figure sculpt.  Unfortunately he didn't have his red scarf, but it can easily be reproduced.  So behold the power of the Phantom.

Here we have ole' whatshisname sitting upon his beloved Phantom.
Nice view of the stealth  fighter from the front.
Look out Wild Weasel, Ghostrider's coming for ya.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Awesome Art Additions 2

I forgot how fun it was to make new posts so here's another piece of Awesome Art

Behold the greatness that is Snake Eyes also by Randy Emberlin.

Awesome Art Additions 1

Wow it's been awhile since I've made a post, but i'm back!

Here is a new segment where I show off my killer art collection.  First up is an art print by the Terrific Randy Emberlin.  He drew for the Marvel G.I. Joe run, 90s Spiderman, Star Wars Crimson Empire and much more.

Here is Zartan.

Sunday, March 4, 2012


The Finals are finally here.  The end to the ultimate tournament.  Now we will see who the ultimate bad ass truly  is.

John McClane Vs. Indiana Jones

All of John McClane's guns are empty.  He has nothing left but his fists.  Indy has one shot left in his revolver.  Indy fires while John drops to his right into a summersault.  When he gets to his haunches he spots it.  The one weapon that can destroy Dr. Jones. A snake slithering through the rubble.  McClane snatches it with mongoose like speeds and hurls it at Indiana.  Indiana falls to the ground vigorously trying to swat the serpent away.  While he is distracted John McClane picks up Indy's Whip and wraps it tightly around the good Dr's exposed neck.  Indiana Jones struggles to free himself while his life slowly slips away.  After his eyes cloud over and his arms drop to his sides McClane lets him drop lifeless to the ground.  He stands up and smiles out of the side of his mouth, " I just whipped your ass buddy."

Well that's it folks.  John McClane is your champion.  It was a close battle but he used his opponents weakness to his advantage and achieved victory.  To see more of John McClane's exploits check out the Die Hard series.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Semi Finals!

Here are the spectacular semi-finals.

John McClane vs Snake Pliskin

While Snake is silently stalking the streets for his prey, John is secretly hiding on top of a 20 story building.  He reaches for the nearest fire hose, grabs hold of it tightly and jumps over the edge all while riddling Snake with bullets.  Sorry Snake you made it far but just couldn't hack it.

Indiana Jones Vs. Ash

Ash extends his chainsaw arm and lunges at the archeologist.  Indy narrowly avoids the slicing power of the horrible machine.  He dives to his right while unleashing his heroic whip wrapping it around Ash's arm.  Dr. Jones pulls violently on his whip, forcing the chainsaw upon  Ash's unprotected torso slicing through his ribs and lungs dropping him to the ground senselessly gasping for the air he will never receive.

Winner Indiana Jones


Round 2 fight!

You asked for it so here it is Round 2 of the ultimate bad ass competitions


Rambo Vs John McClane

Very tough, I can't imagine them ever fighting.  They should join forces and conquer the world!  But for the sake of of the league I will have to choose 1 and that 1 is.... John McClane.  He falls into Rambo's bamboo traps bare feet first then hops out and head butts Rambo into the propeller of a Huey waiting to pick up Rambo's lifeless body.

Winner: John McClane

 Col. Braddock Vs. Snake Pliskin

Snake Pliskin peels the bomb from his neck and shoves it up Braddock's ass.

Winner: Pliskin

James Bond Vs. Indiana Jones

Indiana Jones whips Bond's gun from his hand then chops his head off with his machete.  He then precedes to seduce Miss. Moneypenny on Mr. Bonds desk.  M also joins in.

Riggs Vs. Ash

During this incredible fight a horde of ferorcious zombies storm into the ring and take out Rigg's back up Murdough.  With his best friend turned to lunch meat Riggs goes into a crazy frenzy and lunges for Ash just to step right into his chainsaw arm ripping out all his organs in a bloody mass of ooze.

Winner Ash

Up Next the FINALS!

#1 Bad Ass!

Here we go the tournament of tournaments, the kumite of kick ass if you will.  Match ups between some of the greatest fiction characters of all time added with a few real life bad asses in the tournament to end all tournaments!
Round 1 FIGHT!

Bruce Lee Vs. John McClane

Winner: John McClane.
Sure Bruce Lee is a kung fu master but John McClane has gone against kung fu masters before and come out on top, and that was even in his later years.  Yippie Kye Aye Muther Fucker!

Rambo Vs. Dirty Harry

Winner: Rambo
Rambo has annihilated well trained armies single handed with only his knife.  Dirty Harry is just a hard boiled detective trying to clean up the mean streets of San Francisco.  Sure his gun gives him a bonus but that's all he has.  He better hit Rambo in one shot because if not THROAT RIP MUTHA FUCKA!

Col. James Braddock Vs. Jason Bourne

Winner: Braddock
When working at the office don't ask Chuck Norris for his three hole punch, Jason Bourne did and exploded.

Snake Pliskin Vs Frank Martin

Winner: Snake Pliskin
He has an eye patch, automatic win.  He can also call upon the help from his good buddy Jack Burton if things get in a pinch.

James Bond Vs. John Conner

Winner: James Bond
John Conner is too much of a whiny bitch.  James bond would go back in time kill Kyle Reese and make sweet love to Ms. Conner making John Bond leader of the pantie resistance.

Indiana Jones Vs. Dominic Torretto

Winner: Indiana Jones
Why is Dominic Toretto even on this list?

Rocky Balboa Vs. Sgt Riggs

Winner: Riggs
With Murtough watching his back he'll never lose.

Ash Williams Vs. Jack Bauer

Winner: Ash
Ash slices that boner in half with his chain saw, fucks his daughter, then writes a book about it.  All while signing autographs for his devout fans.

Well that's it for Round 1 stay tuned for round 2 very soon.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Where are they now?

Sadly I missed the 2nd assignment for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers, so my second submission will be the Where are they now? topic

It was tough to pick a group of youngsters for this topic, but I finally chose the show that kept coming back in my ideas.  That show is Hey Arnold!

After graduating high school Arnold received a scholarship to Princeton where
he studied civil engineering.  He graduated with his bachelors degree and now resides in Seattle Washington where he works for a new up and coming company that builds bridges.

Gerald became an all American basketball player in high school, but due to an
ankle snap at the end of his senior year his dreams were dashed.  He attended
the local state college and obtained his degree in physical education and now
teaches basketball at his old school.

Helga started working for her father at his electronics store Big Bob's Beepers
when she started high school.  At first she hated being around her father
for extended periods of time, but realized he had a lot to offer in the way
of running a business.  When Big Bob finally retired he handed the store over the
store to his daughter.  She renamed it to Helga's Electronics, and has 3 stores throughout the city, with plans of expansion.

The Marines were Harold's first choice after school.  He served bravely and gallantly as a corporal for 3 years before he was shot and killed during a heavy firefight.

School didn't come well to Stinky, he constantly struggled with it.  During his sophomore year his father passed away and Stinky just gave up.  2 weeks after his father passed he disappeared.  The last anyone has heard from him he was living in Florida as a pest control man.

Phoebe graduated valedictorian of her class and went to study abroad.  She became enamored with European culture and decided to stay.  She now lives in Rome teaching English to Italians.

Sid found his love of journalism early in life.  He became editor of his school paper his first year of high school.  He started working for the local paper right after school and quickly climbed up the ladder.  He is now the lead copy editor and still climbing.

I love Hey Arnold.  One of the best cartoons of the 90's.  Maybe sometime in the future I will do Eugene, Rhonda, and the rest.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The League

As a fan of all things geek, comics, toys, movies, I'm constantly scouring the vastness of the world wide web for other collectors collections and their thoughts on my favorite pieces of pop culture.  One of my favorite blogs to frequent is called CoolandCollected.  The creator of the blog came up with a fun idea where a bunch of us blog owners are given a topic to write about then share.  I can't wait to see some of the cool ideas and esoteric thoughts of my fellow collectors.

The first topic is what is: What movie is, or was, your “go to” Saturday matinee — the comfort movie you always popped into the VCR on a rainy Saturday afternoon, the movie you watched over and over again, driving your parents crazy while you recited the lines along with the characters on the screen? 

For me this isn't a hard question at all.  Sure there are tons of movies i could post here like Robocop or Indiana Jones, both great movies but not my "Go To" movie. 

 Nooo my "Go To" movie is much more BAD ASS than both those films.  Of course I'm talking about the one and only BLOODSPORT!  Jean-Claude Van Damme's best movie ever.  

JCVD plays Frank Dux, like put up your dukes right.  A martial artist trained by the famed Tanaka to participate in the most deadly fighting competition of all time the Kumite!  The flick is jam packed with martial arts action.  Damn near every participant of the Kumite has their own style ranging from Muay thai to sumo wrestling.  

Along the way Frank Dux meets and befriends another American fighter the bad ass biker Ray Jackson played expertly by Donald Gibb.  Ray Jackson is my favorite character from the movie.  He has all the best lines and is just bad ass personified.

The villain of the film is the immoral Chong Li portrayed by Bruce Lee's personal friend Bolo Yeung.  Chong Li is a ruthless bastard that will do anything to win including killing his opponents.  Bolo Yeung plays the perfect heel.  

So there you have it.  My favorite "Go To" Saturday matinee.  I've seen this film over 150 times and still watch it regularly.  I ruined my original VHS copy due to wear and tear. 
p.s. Did I mention it also stars a very young Forest Wittaker?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

High Fantasy at it's best.

A Wizard of Earthsea (Earthsea Cycle, #1)A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula K. Le Guin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Very good start to the series. The main character Sparrowhawk is generally interesting and was easy to like. Unlike many other mage like characters he has flaws, and these flaws surface often. I really enjoy the magic system in this book as well, and the not knowing anybody's true name is nice touch. I could easily see myself reading the rest of this series.

View all my reviews

Friday, January 6, 2012

52 week book challenge!

I've always been a pretty casual reader, picking up a book here or there.  It wasn't until the past couple of years have I turned into a complete utter bookworm.  It all started with Richard Matheson's I Am Legend which is now my favorite book of all time.  I didn't want to put it down, and I took my sweet time with it so it wouldn't come to it's emanate demise.  After finishing the king of books, I started reading other books I had heard were must reads.  I couldn't believe the enjoyment I was receiving from these things and I was developing an addiction.

After perusing the net for book recommendations I found an awesome site called Goodreads which is much like Facebook for books.  While checking out  the site i discovered a neat little challenge.  52 books in 52 weeks.  I had to try it.  My first year I didn't do so hot, only read around 15 books but, I had a lot going on.  Now this year I dominated!  I didn't reach 52 but I came close and discovered some great books along the way.  Here are the stats.

Book Total: 30
Page total: 8106

Now the Top 5 books of the year


                                          and finally the #1 book of the year was........

Yes I know the final book is a trilogy but like the original star wars it's considered one entity.

If nobody has read any of these books go out and get them and read them, it's well worth your time.